Clothes

Not gonna get this posted until the clock turns to tomorrow, but yay me for remembering to post tonight! I ate a lot today. No bread but some cheese & saucey stuff that was loaded with sugar. So I'm at a conference right now. My hotel gave me a yummy cookie upon checkin. I'm eating it tomorrow when I'm done with the sessions.

Tonight I realized that the shape of me is staying the same in my eyes. I still see roley poley Angela when I look in the mirror. BUT....the size of me is getting smaller. I bought a pair of size 12 pants to wear cuz the ones I packed just felt too big. These feel about a quarter of a size too small, but it will be fine. I look good. I'm feeling like I am starting to look like my vision I have for myself to look.

And I'm confused. I shouldn't be fitting into a size 12. That's ludicrous and I think that the sizes in this city are bigger than normal or something. Even large leather jackets that I tried on & other large shirts felt kinda roomy. I passed on the jackets cuz I can buy that in April when I'm down to my vision. And I bought a medium shirt and an xl juniors college sports "ladies" shirt...and those usually run REAL small-like kid size large is a ladies xlarge. doesnt make sense. But anyway. I'm stoked.

And if I chicken out, I bought the same pair of pants in a 14 just in case I feel really too self conscious or fat. The jacket I will wear regardless- I've overcome that neurosis today I think. Part of dressing nice is being around other people who do. None of my friends dress like me. No one in my family dresses professionally like me either. I stand out everywhere but with my colleagues- and even then I feel I am too formally dressed sometimes. And too INformally dressed other times. What the hell. I'll just start wearing what I want to wear & that will be that.

Good night good fellows. BIG day tomorrow and I'm scared SHITLESS but energized at the same time. Time to ride the wave of awesomeness.