I am awesome. And I'm not bragging or anything, I just am. Most of us need to believe that we are awesome. Awesome doesn't mean flawless or perfect. Awesome means unbelievably authentic, honest, and true. Awesome means being YOU. Awesome means taking the worst in your life and others' lives and making it new and better. Awesome means expecting greatness and choosing a positive outlook and attitude. Awesome means choosing joy, no matter what - even when you're sad & heartbroken. I strive to be awesome and I hope I try to help others be their awesome selves as well.
Now that that is off my chest, let's talk about patience. I hate dieting. I hate it with a PASSION only because it TAKES SO LONG. I am an impatient person. I want to see results and I want to see it NOW. I cheated again today. I had two hamburger buns, 3 handfuls of mixed nuts and about 3 ounces of liquor. Considering...that was pretty good in relation to my past behavior. I went to visit some friends this evening and we rode around the countryside in their old TrailDuster with the top off. It was warm, it was windy, it was sunny, and it was dusty and just WONDERFUL!!! In the past when we have done this, I usually have a few stiff drinks, eat snacky type food, and then we usually gorge on pizza when we are home & cleaned up. This time I just had an ounce of Jameson & two ounces of Bacardi Limon, both mixed in iced tea. I had venison summer sausage (which wasn't too good of a choice because the protein content is poor and the fat content is high) -two sandwiches with the most DELICIOUS hamburger buns from the bakery. You know, the really squishy kind. YUM. I also had three handfuls of mixed nuts. I passed on the crackers, chips, and other carbohydrate rich foods though and did not have any beer or other malt liquor specialty drinks (like those Marg-a-Ritas...which are delicious). A small win. My impatience with making sure I have planned my protein dinner and also planning for tempting situations was not unexpected. I hate waiting for results and sticking to something super religiously when it takes SO LONG is very difficult for me!!!
Needless to say, I had fun. I have awesome friends - and yes, they DO fit my definition of awesome. I would not hang out with them or care at all if they didn't fit my awesome definition. I'm fortunate that I have some of my best friends that I love close to me and not a few hours away. I wish ALL my best friends were this close in proximity. I've a couple who are still too far away for my liking. But then again, it's good to know they are only a call, text, or message away.
Back to the impatience thing. I have to gracefully accept myself and accept my struggle with not being at the end result RIGHT NOW. I have to be graceful in accepting that perseverance and fortitude are important and are a process. I have to gracefully forgive myself and set new goals. And when I go off the path, I have to gracefully get myself back on.
Grace is a word and a concept I have always had a hard time understanding - especially if I think too much about it. To me, grace is like a way of thinking to help get through a hardship or a troubling time. It's the ability to roll with the punches & to keep your head up. It's also a motive for forgiveness and for trying again - a getting up when you stumble.
So, I am impatient. But I'm also graceful about it, I think.
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