So, Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?? Huh? Do Ya??

You know, I've been thinking lately...I'm darned lucky. I am. I have a good job, I don't live by surviving on credit, I am able to pay all of my bills every month, I have successfully gotten a second job, and I'm pretty healthy. I've been reading about how many jobs have been lost in this country this fall and all I can think is, "wow...I am very lucky". When people are losing jobs, I'm getting jobs. Part of me feels bad because maybe the job I got at JCP prevented someone else that probably needed a job to get it. But then I think, if I am the best candidate, why not? I guess it's sort of like the dilemma of the American Dream. To what point does the American Dream become selfish and self serving?? I think the American Dream IS selfish and self serving. So...what balances that out? Giving to charity? Being kind and helpful to everyone? Volunteering your time? Sticking up for the "underdog"?

I'm also lucky because I have the job I've been dreaming about since I was a sophomore in high school. Back then, I thought it was inner city kids who were troubled that I wanted to work with. I think God put me in this rural area for that reason. I've found that there are troubled kids all over the place and some of the most forgotten ones are in the rural areas. It's in the places that have minimal resources. It's also the areas that are full of biased and prejudiced citizens -not intentionally, but because of the sociological effects of group-think and cultural norms. So, I've been working with troubled kids for 10 years now. I love it. I think, in terms of spirituality, I've "earned" some Grace through this occupation. I take the kids who everyone turns away. I work with and get to know the kids whom others have cast aside as "trouble makers" or "losers" or "unreachable" or (my favorite) "anti-social". This is my ministry. As wacky as that may sound, it is true. I directly affect people for the good every day; people that aren't getting a "fair" chance by their environment.

I think that's incredibly honorable. And I've been humbled many, many times in this job. I often think that there's got to be a reason I'm in this position in this area. I'm not sure I picked it as much as it picked me. That makes me lucky too. I know, without a doubt, that this kind of work is what I've been called to do. This is my vocation.

With that, I've been working on my administration licenses for the past few years and completed requirements for a MN K-12 Principal license and a MN Director of Special Education license last June. I'm finishing my specialist degree in Educational Leadership at MSUM (Moorhead) right now and once it's completed (after I finish and successfully defend my field study), I'll be able to write "Ed.S" after my name, which means Educational Specialist. That's an honor in itself as well. As much as I like directly affecting students, I have been seeing how systems can be changed and affected to reach these kids as well. My next calling is in the administration field; my next challenges will be as an advocate of the "underdog" at the systems level. I enjoy problem solving and working with colleagues to provide both leadership and support for them to be able to reach more students in need of intervention. I'm super lucky...super lucky to KNOW what my "calling" is.

It's not easy. I have to "deal" with all of the "crap" most professionals want to do without. I have to bend my paradigms to determine what the student REALLY needs, rather than what I THINK he/she needs, or what he/she SHOULD be needing. It's difficult and it's exhausting. It's also heartbreaking. I have to constantly be reflective and keep myself on my toes lest I turn into one of those cynical, fed-up, tired educators. I also need to continue to count my blessings. It's truly an honor to know that I actually affect people and make a difference every single day. How many people can truly say that about their job???

So, this post has surprised me. I originally intended to express how I felt lucky because I got a new job (even though it's just a part time job) when our country's jobless rate is going up rapidly. That's still cool and all...but my "luck" is so much deeper than that I think. I get a bit upset when I tell people what I do for a living and hear "oh, you must be a very patient person!!!" or "wow, I could never do what you do!" or "I don't know how you do it". I don't get mad...I just get kind of sad in my heart. Those comments are the reason I do what I do; if I didn't, then no one would help these kids. I just DO it because it's right to do and needs to be done. I don't have a whole lot of patience...and I don't know how I do it some days either. I think some people have that point of view because most won't or can't step outside of their comfortable box and be challenged on an elemental level. I think what I DO have that allows me to do this kind of work is fortitude, reflective wisdom, and insightfulness. Everyone has these aspects...but most people do not have to engage them in this particular way to fulfill a vocation. If everyone could engage them and not only treat others with love and respect, but regard everyone with equality as a valuable human being, I wouldn't have a job. :-) That, in the grand scheme of things would be awesome because that would mean that I wasn't needed to provide the niche of help that I do.

So, whatever field of work you are in, do it well, and do it from your heart. It matters in the end, I think.