Rest Stop

I think it is time to phase off of the Ideal Protein diet for a little bit and start up later in the spring, like May through July. I'm cheating WAY too much and don't really care about losing weight right now. I want to marinate a bit right now - enjoy the size I am for now and kick it into gear later when I'm more committed. So on Tuesday at my weigh-in, I will be starting phase 2 of Ideal protein which basically means eating more real food. Then phase 3 is all real food and phase 4 is maintenance which is totally real food but splitting up high carb & high fat meals (not eating foods high in carbs and high in fats in one meal).

So - Life is exciting and life is full of potential & possibilities but my diet is restricting me from enjoying it right now. That's not healthy and it's not good. I'll kick it into gear later on and lose that last 30 lbs. By then I'll have replenished my clothes buying budget as well, so I'll be more ready to go shopping.

So work is crazy and the other day when I mudded a stained glass piece I broke it...so I'm in that space where I just want to ignore plans and schemes and live by the seat of my pants. Sunday I drive my grandma to Minneapolis for Easter dinner with relatives and that will be a nice escape too. She's 89 and spry as hell. I'm looking forward to the time to spend with her because I don't visit with her nearly enough.

So as far as my journey to love myself goes, I am doing just that by relaxing my expectations of myself. I'll still have days where I eat "weird" - as in tons of veggies, no carbs and lots of lean protein - but for the most part, I won't be making people uncomfortable for a while with my food choices. Because really - it DOES seem to make a lot of people feel either self conscious about what THEY are eating or they think I'm weird or an idiot for eating the way I do. It's so weird and sort of insane. But it is what it is.

So my advice or what I want you to take away from this post is that loving yourself means listening to what you need and what hard choice you need to make. I'd LOVE to keep on losing consistently and fast...but right now it's not making my life better. It's making me not like myself and become disappointed with myself. I know I can lose these last 30 pounds, but I also know I shouldn't right now. I need to chill. I need to reconnect with my reasons for doing it and rest my soul a bit so that I can have the confidence, the focus, and the need to excel to meet my goals.