Make your own destiny.

I found out a very neat thing today. I have been eating really junky and crazy stuff the past 5 days and I feel like crap. Today I ate my normal IP protein drink in the am (the Peach Mango drink mix is my FAVORITE workday breakfast "food"!!) and normal baggies of veggies for lunch. Then I came home and ate some chips (doritos and dill pickle potato chips) and some Robins Eggs (whoppers easter candy sent from God) - AND a "normal" meal of baked chicken breast and sauteed asparagus and jicama. The jicama was new, but it was delicious sauteed with the asparagus. Of course, I used too much salt AGAIN, so the meal was pretty salty, but it was very tastey.

So the neat thing I found out today was that as much as I like junk food and food that is not healthy for me, I LOVE and CRAVE the veggies & lean protein!!! I was just craving my chicken and asparagus meal all day long. Maybe this ISN'T such a hard thing for me right now. I might not be eating correctly to get into and stay in ketosis so I burn fat efficiently and fast, but I can minimize the damage and try to figure out how to eat like a "normal" person when I'm at goal weight.

I weighed myself this am and I am not proud to say that I weighed in at 191. That's almost 9 pounds more than I weighed 2 weeks ago. I have to decide, what do I want more: a lower number on the scale/smaller clothes OR junk food?? I still want the lower number and smaller clothes!!! I'm addicted to liking what I wear and feeling comfortable in my skin (finally). That means so much more to me than the food I can eat.

So yeah, I'm going off the rails a bit here and gaining a bit back that I've lost....but I'm learning about myself and I'm being GENTLE with myself. This isn't a life sentence - this isn't my destiny. I make that, not food nor my eating habits. Let me be clear: I MAKE MY OWN DESTINY. I am a food addict. I'm also addicted to nicotine replacement (gum & mints), but that's an entirely other story. But --- I AM SMARTER and STRONGER and just BETTER than any food addiction. I just want to eat cleanly and FEEL clean and clear. I don't feel like "myself" lately and I want that back. And that means making different choices with what I choose to eat.

Stay tuned because one of these days I'm going to blab about how good I feel when I'm in ketosis and how I call it a "ketosis high". It's great.