Welcome, 2010.

I want to be at home. In a span of 12 days I will only have been home for two and a half days. January 1st is today, but I feel like the month is already half over. I am not just going to bitch in this post. It seems that's all I've been doing lately on this blog. Sorry, faithful blog reader! I will do better...

I did not really make a New Year's resolution this year. I don't like them. However, I have reorganized my goals, "bucket list", and reflected on some "this is not working for me anymore" things, so maybe you can say my New Year's Resolution (if I had to say I had one), is to refocus and reinvent -or in other words, just plain "renew". I've realized I have many, many things waiting down the pike for me right now and I just have to get out and grab them, make them mine.

I went ice fishing again tonight. It was a very fun time. I met Tony, my brother out there and we just bullshitted and played Cribbage while watching our lines get absolutely no bites and listening to his crazy music. After a while one of his high school buddies came over with his girlfriend and more bullshitting ensued -mainly Navy vs. Airforce bullshit (Tony was in the navy and his friend had gone into the airforce), but it was fun. Tony snagged a BEAUTIFUL walleye -it was huge and gorgeous, but it was too big and Big Pine Lake has a walleye restriction of over 27 inches and this one was well over that, so he released it. Not long after that, I got a hit and lost a fish with a snapped line. :-( how sad. That would have been my first fish of the year -which would have been pretty good after only spending about 5 hours total in a fish house all season and only since a week ago. Oh well!! Some fishy is swimming around with a hook in it's mouth probably now. I hope he got to at least eat the minnow on it! Haha.

My niece Grace is spending a few days at my parents' house while my brother and his wife are on vacation. She's such a sweetie...but she's inhabiting my room. So, part of my crabbiness tonight is that because both of my brothers are home tonight, I get to sleep on the couch. I have no "room" or no "bed". My parents don't really seem to care much -or rather, haven't been too keen on problem-solving. Whatever. I'll make do as I always do. Then, one of my sisters keeps posting passive aggressive bullshit on facebook how she is "glad she has another family who wants to spend time with her" -her boyfriend's family- because she gets pissy that no one is around when she is. So what if both of my brothers are home and I am too and both she and her boyfriend happen to be staying at her house in town for once. She COULD have called up each of us and made arrangements to invite us over instead of getting all pissy about nobody coming around or caring that she and Jeff are in town all night. That's just dumb and kinda psycho, if you ask me. At least I didn't have to spend the time and money to make beer cheese soup. I wanted to, but she claimed Grandma likes hers better, so whatever, I let her make it. -which is funny, because I've never made that before in my life, so how could she like that better than mine when she never ate mine? Psycho. Also, she knows that I have no where to sleep here at mom and dad's and she has an entire house empty but for her and her boyfriend, but did she offer to let me stay there? Nope. So I see how it is in her world. Huh. Here comes my defiant, oppositional, and uncooperativeness parts of me....I guess you could also say I can be rather vindictive. That really works for me when I'm fighting for the rights of others -when I'm crusading for a kid who's being treated wrongly because he or she is misunderstood, vindication really fuels my fight for that kid. But personally, it doesn't make me feel very good about myself when I feel vindictive against people I feel slight me. Ahhhh, look! A chance to renew! LOL.

I just wanna go home...be in my own bed, my own town, and leave the tv off and enjoy some silence or something. Or have the tv on, but watch one channel all night. And especially- not have people ask me a zillion questions over and over again which they already know the answer to or tell me things that are completely and totally obvious. OR (EWWWWW), drink water or something out of a glass and not find weird stuff stuck to the inside of it when I've already drunk 4/5 of the liquid. That JUST happened to me right now as I type. *sigh*

I have to go and make some calls I promised I'd return tonight. Hmmmm....I wonder where in the world I can find some privacy in this place. And that's ANOTHER thing I could go on and on about.

In closing, I honestly believe that 2010 is a good year. It will be a good year for me. I have many, many opportunities and many, many choices coming my way this year. Both are good, but exasperating at the same time most of the time. Here's to choosing well! Cheers!