Purpose

A couple entries ago I blogged about my purpose in life, via song. Since then I've been keeping my eyes and ears open in the community of Grand Rapids to look and listen for opportunities to do some volunteering along my purpose, values, and beliefs. I think I may have found it, or at least a conduit towards a meaningful experience. In addition, it will give me an opportunity to get out and about, meet different people in the community and hopefully find my "niche" here. The only way I'll be happy and content with this job (and my life, actually) is if I can become part of the community and invest my time and talent here in other areas than just work. I could begin this search through the church in town, which is a fine congregation and one I feel fairly comfortable with, but that focus and beginning is not for me. I need to focus and begin in the civic and social area rather than religious area. I find work in the public sector outside of the "protective walls" of tradition and "rules" of a church to be much more spiritually relevant and rewarding. I believe spirituality encompasses much more than just "religion" and true spiritual development and maturity is intensely personal and cannot be "prescribed" by dogma...unless through one's journey they find that that is what works for them. I'm not sure that works for me. The times I feel closest to God and most "spiritual" is when I'm helping others and making a difference -especially out in the "scary, real world" of the public sector. I haven't been able to reconcile that within a specific religion yet, especially Catholicism because everytime I do, I encounter intolerance for a group of people and in good conscience I can't be a part of an organization of faith that encourages "do-gooding" but turns around and condemns those helped. That's pity and that's piety and I don't believe that's what Jesus intended through his work on Earth. I know that is not what others would choose me to believe or choose for me to choose...but I can only do what is right for me -to be true to myself and be genuine, even if it causes me to be an outsider with my family and friends and feel more alone. That doesn't mean I can't change my mind in the future, but it's what I need now. I know Jesus/God is ok with that, and that's enough for me -it's a difficult choice, but well, it is what it is. On a humorous, almost sardonic but still truthful spin, you could say my theme song in that area of my life right now is the song "Me and Jesus" by Tom T. Hall.

Today is the second Sunday of Advent. Advent is a time of renewal, of anticipation, of a waiting watchfulness, of preparation. So this advent, my time of anticipation and preparation is developing my purpose into the community and sharing my talents and life with others. I've got a lot to give -and really, isn't life about what you give rather than what you get?? Isn't that the spirit of Christmas? Isn't that the cornerstone of most religions? Isn't that the reasons for volunteering -"giving back"?? Isn't that what holds relationships together??? I honestly believe that the more you give, the more you get, though it may take a very, very, very long time to "get". It can be hard, it can be lonely, and it can be exhausting -and it may seem like you never "get"...I identify with that very much. But there's honor in the giving, in the courage to do so and being honorable means being genuine, being truthful, being real, being kind, and being true -doing the hard thing because you know deep down it is the right thing.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Albert Einstein: "Never do anything against conscience, even if the state demands it". God may strike me down, right here, right now, but "state" in that quote is interchangeable with "church" in my mind. It's actually interchangeable with anything -work, family, friend, etc...anyone with the position to have any kind of power over you. We've got a conscience, we've got the ability to reason, to learn and decide for a reason. Use it, be courageous, be true to yourself. Give back to your community.