The Hazards of Losing Weight

I need more clothes. Sweatshirts, as a matter of fact. I used to have a TON. I LOVE sweatshirts. There is nothing better than having a free weekend with nothing to do but putz around the house or just hang out with jeans and a sweatshirt. I have one sweatshirt that actually fits me. ONE. I have two zipper hoodies, but no pullover hoodies or "regular" sweatshirts besides one regular sweatshirt that fits. That makes me sad. More sad because the ones I have that I love are my favorites and it's sad they don't fit anymore. :-( So if you feel inclined to buy me a Christmas present, I could really use some sweatshirts (regular, hoodies, etc) in a size large. That would make me happy.

With that, I'm between sizes again. Not quite "filling out" a 14 and not quite feeling comfortable in a 12. Ugh. I have really enjoyed this weight loss journey though. I've learned so much about myself and have grown like you wouldn't believe, but I really never anticipated the frustration of clothes. It's a double edged sword. My goal at the beginning of all of this last January was to feel good in what I was wearing. Well, that is completely subjective and I can see how people can get carried away with dieting and develop weight disorders because as I go down in sizes, it never ends. My "problem areas" never seem to disappear really and at each size milestone I graduate down to, that area is more apparent. Albeit, it is definitely much better than before- I can say that with utmost certainty, but still...it is an ongoing battle that is more of a headgame than a physical game really.

This past fall I've really slowed myself down on the weight loss and have been rather stable since August. While most of that has been deliberate, there was a month or two within that where I gained a bit. I've since lost that and feel "back on track", but I've needed time to adjust to myself. I'm smaller than I have been since....geez....I'm not sure, maybe college?? I seriously cannot remember what size I was when I started college or when I graduated from high school. All I remember was that in 9th grade I was a size 9 -a "juniors" 9. I actually don't have too much angst to get back down to that ... I'm not so much shooting for "size" as my gauge of personal contentment. I'm more so looking for how I feel physically -do I feel healthy? Do I feel strong? Do I feel like I am fitting my clothes well? Am I a size where I can find clothes that fit well almost everywhere I go? I think that's a big part of it. When you are a bigger person, it is difficult to find clothes that actually fit you. It's getting much easier now because the market is finally recognizing that there are more fat people needing clothes and ready to spend money than skinny people, but still, I'd like for myself to be a "healthy" size.

I think there's value in that because a healthy size means a healthy life style and a healthy life style means a better quality of life. That's what I'm shooting for. I don't want to be on diabetic meds before I'm 65-70years old, I don't want to be on cholesterol drugs until then too. I don't want to be on any kind of medication for any kind of syndrome/disease that is mostly preventative. Diabetes runs rampant in my family, so for as long as I can stave that off, the better I will be the the better quality of life I will have in the long run. Also, I'll spend far less money too. Healthcare is expensive and I have absolutely no confidence that medicare or social security or any of those social welfare things that the older generations of yesterday and today enjoy will be available to me when I get that age. So, prevention is the intervention.