Here or There? And then Gone.

I heard some sad news today. A teacher I used to work with at Norman County East whose husband I sorta worked with at Fertile Beltrami passed away last night. I hadn't talked to this woman in many, many years, but it was one of those things where you heard news of someone who passed away who you used to know and saw/interacted with on a daily basis and that's how they remained in your mind...and then you learn they are gone. It's a strange feeling and an even stranger thought.

This lady was very passionate about English and actually taught me a few things about different works of literature. I used to secretly love having students in her class so I could be involved in her class and go through Romeo and Juliet, Les Miserables, and countless other classics. In fact, I became a fan of Les Miserables in her class and discovered the fact that Romeo is a big ass crybaby who probably deserved to die, while sitting through her classes with my students and fighting with them to get her work done. I got to get to know a different side of my students through her classes and her field trips as well. While she was a very good English teacher, she struggled with special education and I was able to learn a lot about myself and strengthen my purpose in life in response to her attitudes towards my students. For all of those things, I am glad I knew her and am glad she was in this world. It was kind of weird too, because a friend and I were just talking yesterday about her propensity for concentrating on the fact a student wasn't doing their homework than the fact that maybe they are experiencing some kind of crisis in their life and probably COULDN'T do the homework. I hadn't talked about her in years.

It makes me sad when people pass away during this time of the year. I'm not sure if it's sadder because of the holidays, but I think that's true...even if you don't ever think of a person for a very long time and then find out they've died, it's somehow sadder during the holidays. I continuously dread the time I will get the phone call letting me know one of my loved ones passed away. Recently I sent a text message to a friend expressing my sorrow at one of his like-a-family members passing away...he immediately called me and I found out I was the first one to tell him. That was sad. He already was carrying plenty of sorrow of his own for many different reasons and that kind of left me a little bruised and battered myself. Sometimes it seems like we are bombarded by stuff all at once -good and bad things, all at once- and I found I don't like being the person to deliver that news to anyone -especially good friends.

So in my hectic day today when I was literally running all over the county to meeting after meeting, I intercepted an email about an ex-coworker passing away. I was sad...saddest for her husband because he is a stellar person and my heart goes out to him, but I also had happy memories and all I felt mostly was an incredible gratefulness to have known her.