It's the weekend and it's been a long week. I'm officially in the "180's" now, weighing in at 189.4 on Tuesday. Ok, that's BARELY in the 180's, but take it from me, it's been a DIFFICULT journey.
Whoever said weight loss is easy is an idiot. However, it's much more difficult to be overweight or fat. I'm overweight right now. I don't consider myself "fat". Fat was when I was technically "obese" on BMI charts. I'm not obese anymore, I'm just overweight. That's an accomplishment -and anyone who HAS been obese at one point of their life knows that this IS an accomplishment.
It's a tenuous accomplishment because there's always that slippery slope of sliding back into fat-land. I'm definitely not out of the woods. I won't be out of the woods for about 20 more pounds yet. The end of March is looming and I am no where near the goal I had wanted of 170. I will be lucky if I hit 185. But hey - that's better than the over 220 I was last year at the time, and WAY better than the 265 I was the winter/spring of 2008. THAT was out of control. Since I've been recording my food on My Fitness Pal, I've "lost" 70lbs. I started recording the SECOND time I got up to 260 in late 2011. I don't want to get beyond 185 ever again. And I'm not even there yet.
So, numbers schmumbers...am I happy? Yes. Do I feel good? Yes. Am I feeling like I am looking better every single day? Yes. Well, I'm using some stuff on my face right now to "fix" my adult acne so I look 15 years older now while my skin rejuvenates, but all in all, I look good. That's what I want. I'm wearing clothes a size that I only briefly could wear in 2008.
I found my very first drivers license the other day. I got it in 1989. I was 150lbs. I think I was lighter than that but I had really no idea and thought I was really fat so I remember that I just "figured" I was 150. I think now as I'm older with an older women's body, 150 is far too low for me. I'm getting really happy with my size. And now I'm at a size where a little weight loss goes a long way. 25 more pounds (which will get me to about 165) is likely going to make a BIG difference. That was my first end goal and a size I believe I will be mostly happy with. It will likely be a size 8 or 10 pants/jeans depending on the style & brand and a size medium or large shirt, depending on the style and brand again. I'm ok with that. I've NEVER been a small person - ever. My bone structure doesn't support that even if I were bone skinny because stuff would be too short (arms and legs).
So today is Saturday and that means the weekend is in full swing. I cheated last night and had chicken strips, mozzarella sticks, potato chips, and a cheese sandwich. Today I've been "good". Work is crazy stressful right now and that really makes a difference on my willpower and stamina when I don't eat much. I seem to need around 1200 calories a day now to function, while when things are slow and easy, I need only about 900-1000. I like how I'm learning all of these things about myself and how my body reacts to things.
That's all I have to say and right now I'm starving so I need to find something to eat!
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