But.... That was A LOT of sugar. I'm gonna feel like garbage tomorrow. Was it worth it? Yeah...but part of me thinks it's self sabotage because I've been doing so well on my goals lately. Also, I've been listening to everyone justify what they eat and what they drink and it has subconsciously convinced me that it's ok for me to do this too. I've said it before, I don't plan to be this strict with food (sugar & carbs) forever, but for right now, it's what I have to do to get to the place I want to be.
Is that vanity? Hell yes it is. It is also self preservation. I want to live a long time yet and I do NOT want to be on drugs because I'm overweight like blood pressure, cholesterol, and diabetes drugs. Nope. I wanna be like my grandma- she's 89 and she has only been on a few things --because she's 89 years old for gods sake, but mostly she's been incredibly healthy. My parents have been on blood pressure, diabetes, and cholesterol drugs since they were just a bit older than I am now. I have aunts & uncles in the same boat- and some of them started needIng the medication when they were younger than I am now. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME DAMMIT.
So to take care of myself, I've got to lose weight and be more active. A side benefit is looking/feeling better. My obsession with losing weight is part vanity and part self preservation- a fountain of youth, if you will. I don't want the limitations that come with being unhealthy. I want freedom--I've always wanted freedom. This is my freedom now.
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