You're Awesome.

Has anyone ever told you that you are awesome? If so, what did you think? Did you agree? Did you become bashful and say, "golly gee, little ole me??" Or did you think to yourself, "what IS it with people using the word 'awesome' all the time??" Maybe you said thank you, but inside you were vehemently disagreeing because you think you are crap.

I don't think we tell each other enough that we appreciate those around us -or even the people in our lives, in our "inner circle". I know I like hearing things like that and I can't imagine that most people don't. However, sincerity goes a long way when you tell someone they are awesome or that you appreciate them. You've got to really mean it and you've got to pretty much operationally define it -which means, explain exactly HOW they are awesome or exactly WHY or even HOW they are appreciated by you. Just saying to someone that they are cool isn't really enough. You've got to tell them why so that they understand what it is that you find so stunning that you have to tell them so.

We tend to keep a lot to ourselves. I keep a lot to myself. I don't think I intend to because I'm actively thinking about most everyone all the time, but that's about as far as I get. As adults, we don't always do this because as adults, we don't think we need it. Ok, maybe we don't -I mean, c'mon, we ARE adults, right? We aren't kids that need to be nurtured. Right? However, all of us are in some kind of relationship, whether than be a friendship, marriage, parent/child, co-worker, or just casual "you're my UPS delivery person" type of relationship. Relationships need to be nurtured too. We need to feel connected and most of the time, we wait for others to connect WITH us instead of going out to create and cultivate our own connections.

If we run around waiting for those connections to happen, we will be running around a LONG time because most of us will never find that. Everyone we interact with, have a relationship with, or consider having a relationship with could be waiting for that connection too. Then where will you be?

Children need to know they are loved, appreciated, respected, and wanted. They need to especially know they are all of those things for who they are. JUST for who they are. Not who we hope they will become, or how we wished they would be or act like. Even the naughtiest kid has SOMETHING that is special about them that we can appreciate. The naughtiest kid I ever knew was a master at finding places to break into places. He broke into my classroom. Yes, he was in trouble, but boy, did I appreciate that because I learned where my security breeches were after that. And I told him that. He behaved sooo good after that.

That was probably a fluke though because he expected to get kicked out like every other time he broke rules or did something extremely naughty -he held a fallacy that he was bad and completely acted that way. When I treated the situation as a wrong-doing but also a "thank you for showing me where people could break into this place, I really appreciate your talent in this area" situation, that comment made him pause and realize that maybe he wasn't ALL that bad and someone believed he wasn't all that bad either.

I think we can translate that sometimes to adults. We sometimes get into patterns where we feel we are a certain way or we always react a certain way. We become very one-dimensional and develop a very tunnel-visioned view of ourselves and our lot in life. However, if we are told that we are awesome because we stood up for ourselves in a situation where we usually term ourselves a "bitch" or an "ass", then maybe we can start seeing ourselves as someone who isn't as one dimensional. If we are told that we are appreciated for who we are even when we struggle to navigate though a difficult situation in our families or at work, maybe we will see that our challenges do not necessarily have to define us -or at least define us the way we THINK they should.

Our perspectives of ourselves are our self-concept. Self-concepts can be skewed. They can be under or over-inflated. They can be healthy. Sometimes they are severely damaged by other people. What I'd like to see more in the world is people helping each other BE better people, people helping other people SEE other sides of themselves -positive sides that make other people proud to know them, that make people proud to be THEMSELVES. It's almost like a "pay-it-forward" type of thing.

So, if you have someone in your life who YOU think is awesome, tell them. Be sure to tell them why though and what made you say that. It could be one little insignificant event like "you are awesome because you smiled to that old man sitting there who looked so sad." Then add an "I appreciate you" to that. Because most people don't choose to be around anyone they don't appreciate -or think are awesome in some way. And if you don't like the word awesome, buy a thesaurus or locate one online. There are TONS of words out there to use.

And please, if you have kids or know some kids or interact with kids, most DEFINITELY do this. And most DEFINITELY tell them why and how they are awesome and why and how they are appreciated. And mean it. Do it often, with sincerity, and maybe a nice hug too.

There, that is my soap box for the night. :-) I really appreciated the time you took to read this post. You're awesome because you didn't have to read it at all because I realize that sometimes I ramble on and on...like I'm somewhat doing right now. Thank you!