Well this has been a week of awful eating. It all started with an awesome weigh in. Hmmmm...self sabotage, anyone??? Nevertheless today I'm on track. I still need 2 more cups of veggies yet, but I think it' time to clean out the freezer a bit.
So yesterday I went to a friend's house to hang out and play a few hands of canasta. It's been our tradition to play on the weekends but the past 4 years we've lengthened the time between our games. Mostly because of changing family dynamics and I moved away. So card night also means have-a-drink-or-three night. Oh, did I mention the junk food usually abundant as well? So yes, dear reader, you guessed it. I had beer, rum, mixed nuts, and 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich. I did not have pizza (a small miracle) and kept my drink quota to three. I drank lots of water and even had brought my own red peppers that I ate instead of pizza. It was not a fun thing- and I've had funner card nights. I'm not sure what it was. Perhaps I'm very crabby lately. Perhaps it just wasn't the right night for us all to gel. Granted, my friends had a VERY tough week with some family medical issues and they were not in a lighthearted mood to begin with.
So yesterday I clocked out at over 2000 calories. 125g of those were carbs, mostly from the beer, mixed nuts and peanut butter and my fat grams for the day was about 80g. But I had to remember, I had to eat some carbs before I had any alcohol, so my system did not get shocked into a state of low blood sugar because my liver was busy processing booze and not protein and the tiny amounts of net carbs I get each day.
It is what it is. Today life was good --EXCEPT I did not have any coffee in the house!!!! HOW HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!! But I survived. Maybe I'll sleep well tonight then. Tomorrow I'm off to San Diego for a week and that will be interesting.
You know, I noticed something this week, especially this weekend. The last two times I did this diet and the time I was on the OptiFast diet in 2009, I would get anxious if I could not control ALL of the food ALL of the time. I used to fret A LOT about what I would eat, what I COULD eat, what I HOPED was going to be available to eat and just got a bit worked up if things didn't run smoothly- MY ideal of "smoothly". This time around, I just don't give a shit. I plan as much as I need to so that I'm not caught off-guard (most of the time), but I've been going with the flow. I have benchmarks for my overall goal - I do have an idea what weight I want to be July 1, August 1, September 1, and finally October 1st, but that's mostly just a guideline to keep me reaching for something "more". This time, life isn't stopping because I'm putting myself through a strict diet- and when life happens, it's life I pay attention to more than the rules of the diet.
Maybe I'm smarter this time around and I understand nutrition and how my body responds to different nutrients in different quantities at different times. Maybe I'm just in a healthier state all around mentally. Maybe I'm completely fooling myself with this and I'm just as neurotic as ever. :)
But, life is good, life is awesome. Although card night didn't feel as fun, the time I spent with my friends was completely priceless and the time spent with them is nutrition for the soul.
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