Today is Saturday and it's the first "summer" day of the season meaning it's gonna be hot and it's gonna storm later this afternoon/night. When I was a kid and a young adult, I used to hate bad weather because it scared the crap out of me but also fascinated me. Even though I was scared out of my mind at the unpredictability and force of severe thunderstorms and the threats they bring (wind, hail, tornadoes), I couldn't help but watch the storms and be fascinated by them. They have such power and the atmosphere they bring is a whole slew of feelings: danger, excitement, trepidation, expectation, extreme power, wonderment, awe, and climatic. As much as I have felt anxiety about storms in the past, I felt excitement and anticipation of something awesome to happen - bad or good. I am the one who goes OUTSIDE when sirens sound (if I can), warnings are posted, and the storm is rolling in. It used to drive people nuts and they couldn't figure out why I was so damned scared of the weather but I went outside to be IN the weather. Only a few people I know in my life can understand this and why I'm pulled to be with the storm while at the same time have a feeling of danger and know I need to take cover. And in taking cover, it is sooooo exciting to hear and experience the storm roll over and away. It's exhilarating. And it still scares the crap out of me - but in an awesome, wonderment, I-need-to-remember-this-moment way. It's sort of cathartic.
This is officially the beginning of week 2 today. I feel like I've been on this diet forever. I only have six-seven more weeks left...and on Tuesday unofficially I'll have only 6 more. That's cool. I love countdowns. This am my scale said 179. WOOOT WOOOOOOOT! Almost out of the 180-170 woods I've always flirted around when I am serious about weight loss. I'm not quite solidly into size 12 jeans/pants, etc or all large shirts/jackets...but I'll be close at the end of unofficial week 6/unofficial start of week 5. I've got some 10's and even an 8 in my closet just waiting for me....
When I was bigger, I'd tell myself I would get a tattoo if I ever got down to a size 14. I've been there a few times but never knew what to get and it didn't feel right yet. I've been down to size 14 for about 3-4 months now and have been hovering in that range until I've recently decided to put my nose to the grindstone and get shit done. I know what I want, know where I want it...but size 14 isn't good enough. I'll get my tattoo when this 8 week journey is over. It will mean more and it will mean as much as I always felt it did. That's my present to myself when I hit my goal of 8 weeks on phase one in Ideal Protein. No matter what weight I end up at...that's it. I need to be done and let myself learn how to maintain the weight loss. Then on to the next journey!
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