Well, my eye is still kinda bloody. Looks like it will probably take at least 4 more days for it to be completely clear. That will make it approximately 14 days of blood in my eye! Oh well! This is still a great Tuesday cuz Tuesdays are the best day of the week for no reason other than they are awesome.
Nothing new lately...getting kinda stressed about closing down my program and making sure it is all cleaned out and all the stuff there gets to places that want/need it. It is just a pain in the ass. Plus, on top of all of that I'm busy with the "real" part of my job. I have 5 students who are incredibly needy this month. Three of them are seniors and are hanging on by the skin of their teeth. I am texting one of them each morning to see if he needs a ride to school because he always has "car trouble" (and it is legitimate car trouble) and calling another one to make sure she is up and getting ready to go to school. The other one I have to treat with kid-gloves sometimes to keep him in the right "mood" to finish his assignments and remind him daily of the allowed days of absences he has left for the year. *sigh*. The things I do to make a difference.
Some might say this is above and beyond and probably not healthy...but it WILL get these kids to graduate. A piece of their life either was missing earlier in their development and/or is missing now...that being the consistency of an adult role model who teaches them how to be responsible and how to be accountable. Some might also say that calling, texting, and continuous reminding are counter-intuitive to teaching responsibility and accountability. I say that it's too late to expect that. This should have been taught and paid attention to MUCH earlier in their lives and to expect them to be at the "normal" level of personal responsibility and accountability now will only set them up for more failure and perpetuate the cycle of failure and dysfunction. Failure is not what they need right now. Wings and a consistent, caring adult who challenges them to think for themselves to make good choices is what they need. So to the mindset that believes I'm cutting these kids too much slack or am enabling their irresponsible and antisocial behavior, I am tempted to say, "Well, it's your fault then. Where were you 10 years ago for these kids? And what are YOU doing now to help them besides passively shaking your head in regret, disgust, and/or social disdain at their problems?" But, of course, that's not going to help anything, so I just make sure my corner of the world is proactive and strives to see these kids with fresh eyes that believe in the motto "whatever it takes". They come from bad stuff. They believe they have bad stuff inside them. I know that first statement is true and it is really too bad and quite sad, but I also know the latter doesn't have to be...because that's what they can change right now if they have enough support, a proactive environment, and time.
I'll miss this kind of influence on youth when I start my new position in August. However, I am quite excited because I'll be in the position to more fully support teachers who will be working with kids and also I'll be able to affect systems change so more levels of influence affect kids more positively than just a small classroom or program. That is what excites me about educational administration. Challenging traditional models with a more flexible conceptualization is really what makes me happy in my profession. That, and advocating for people who are different from mainstream are my greatest passions in life I think.
So May 22nd is the day I'm counting down with gusto. That's the day my seniors are finished and the date that will determine if they will be able to graduate or not. I'm determined they will succeed. What they do afterwards is up to them...but I know they will remember how they felt when they were under my "care" and will hear my voice like a ghost through-out their lives, helping them make the right choice. OR, they might be completely relieved to finally get rid of me and my bossiness and high expectations! :-)
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