October 2015

It's been a while. Again. And it's time to get going on a healthy lifestyle. Again.

The thing that makes us great - the thing that makes us human and able to relate to others is our propensity to have to pick ourselves up again and trudge on after a set back. If you don't experience a setback, I am going to be bold to say you are not experiencing life. It's NORMAL to go through periods of yuckiness, however that might look in your life. For me yuckiness is when I feel down and stressed and my life is not as I had wanted it to be like. Now and again, I go through periods of just existing, making sure at least one area of my life is going well but neglecting other areas. Recently that one area of going well has been work -and everything else has gone to shit. Maybe everything else was already shit. I do have a great propensity for deluding myself greatly and believing the lies I tell myself.

I've been telling myself my whole life that I'm not good enough. I was talking to a friend about this and they shared their struggle with the "voices" that tell them bad things about themselves that gets louder and louder the more they try to silence them. I can relate. I quiet my voices with food, having a drink, and throwing myself into my work. That's pattern I am determined to change so this fall/winter will be an adventure in myself.

This summer I had adventures with other people and really enjoyed life. My hangover from that was severe, however. I have some anger to deal with along with deep issues still of inadequacy. I'm adequate - hell, I'm MORE than adequate for anything I want to do. I have to find a way to keep those voices quiet or at least learn how to tell them to change their tunes. They've been there since my early childhood and are my longest friendship or relationship...it's hard to "break up" with long time friends.

I will not be blogging a lot anymore. It's just not what I need right now. So thank you for reading this, thank you for honoring me with your time, and thank you for stalking me.